Lately I’ve noticed a wonderful thing happening: women demolishing the stigma of body imperfections. All around me in school, at work, and in the media, I see women who have struggled with the embarrassment of not having a “perfect body” learning to love themselves and each other. One of the ways they do this is by dismissing the crude verbal abuse of misogynistic men. And it’s nice because I see a lot of disrespect from men and it makes me wonder, Why the hell are boys like this? Then, after close observation, it occurred to me: they do this to cope with their own poor self-image.
It’s easy to put a girl down by pointing out her weight, body hair, bra size, how her makeup looks, etc.; and it is just as easy to put down a boy (especially a teenage boy) by pointing out how short he is, how fat he is, how weak his muscles look, or the modest size of his reproductive organ. Every guy can relate to at least one of these issues, you just won’t hear most of them talking about it because they’re afraid of expressing emotion. One thing you need to understand is that masculinity is a very fragile thing. Young men face so much ridicule when they show emotion, and it comes mostly from other guys.
That’s the difference between males and females. The reason many girls are becoming less concerned with their looks is because they support each other. Males, however, ridicule one another for showing that kind of concern, or any kind of emotion. I know because I have been a victim of this ridicule my entire life. A sensitive child, I was incessantly abused by my peers and scorned by the older men in my life. They were always frustrated by their inability to pose as strong role-models. Apparently I’m not masculine because I show emotions and I don’t mock females.
I’m fine with that. If being a man means you aren’t allowed to have emotions or show respect, who the hell wants to be a man?
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